Ponderations

I was hoping to have pictures from last night's AfterImages cast party to upload, but I ended up not even attending the party, something which I'm kinda upset about really. I really needed to unwind and I saw the party as an opportunity to dress up and have fun and let loose for once in a really really long time. Unfortunately, I didn't have a ride to the venue and that's a definite problem. It's a 'walkable' distance, but last night's weather was terrible and my heels ain't made for walking, no siree. Not to mention, I didnt want to have to walk all the ay back to my dorm late at night, all alone, in the drastic cold. And to think I had my silver dress and pink heels all ready to wear for the party. Darn the cold weather. I hope another opportunity to be a little more flashy presents itself sometime soon.

I spent the day organising my room and putting things back where they should be. It's therapeutic really, getting rid of all the mess in my life and giving myself the chance to restart on a nice clean slate, this being a metaphor for my mind. After the production's ended, my mind feels so relieved and uncluttered, it's so refreshing. I also took a walk to Starbucks to get ome work done. The trip there was rough, but Starbucks is such a place of refuge that it's all worth it. So I got some work done and a stranger came up to me and asked me whether I was in the AfterImages production and when I told him that I was, he told me that I did a great job. Boy, did that make my day. And Meghan, such a sweetheart, reassured me of my capabilities and how I'm going to fulfil my dreams. I definitely needed those few compliments. Being in a production and not have any close friends or family come support me was and is a real trip. I hear fellow dancers talk about their families coming and them receiving these bouquets of flowers and my heart sinks. I used to have that, but I dont anymore and I don't think I ever will, seeing how my life's going, not being able to make any close friends outside of the dance department. It's a definite challenge, but I know in the end, I have to suck it up and get on with life. I have no time to cry over spilt milk. I chose this path and I have to face the consequences and obstacles I have no choice but to face. The only audience I need is up in heaven, watching over me and providing for me every single day of my life.